You are doing an intake with one of the parties to a workplace mediation. Somewhere in the conversation they tell you, almost as an aside, that they are already looking for other roles. They have mentally checked out. They are hoping that by the time the mediation takes place, the question of how they work
When parents come to mediation disagreeing about whether their child should be assessed for neurodivergence, or whether an existing diagnosis is valid, the presenting issue rarely captures what’s actually happening. On the surface, it looks like a healthcare dispute. Two adults disagree about a medical appointment. Mediators who treat it that way will spend a
Interest in workplace mediation has grown sharply in recent years. It is not surprising that some larger organisations are looking to develop this capability in-house. What is less often discussed is how much harder it is to do well than it looks. There is a quiet contradiction at the heart of in-house mediation. The qualities
The Inside Job: What No One Tells You About Being an In-House Mediator Read More »
I remember a conversation with a mediator who told me, quietly and almost apologetically, that they felt unprepared to manage conversations where racism sat just beneath the surface. They were confident with commercial disputes, workplace clashes, and even heavy family breakdowns. But when an intake form hinted at racial tension, or when a participant made
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I recently came across a blog post from The High Conflict Institute titled Autism Spectrum Disorder and High Conflict Personalities: Working with Cultural Differences. It is presented as practical guidance for conflict professionals working with autistic parties. It is well-intentioned. It is also, in significant ways, harmful, and the harm is not incidental to the
Most mediators are taught how to reframe. Fewer are taught how to explain reframing, and even fewer are encouraged to be transparent about why they do it. Reframing is often described to students as “restating something more neutrally”, “removing toxicity”, or “putting it in a way the other party can hear”. That description is not
Reframing in Mediation: What We Are Really Doing, and Why We Name It Read More »
A colleague recently asked me whether I was familiar with any research on the risks associated with mediating with a heavily pregnant woman. The woman in question was in conflict with her ex-partner, the father of her unborn child, and my colleague wanted to know whether there were particular considerations they should be thinking about.
Should Pregnant Women Be Excluded from Mediation? Questions We Need to Ask Read More »
In my work on neurodiversity and conflict, there are some interesting intersections that come up frequently. There’s one phenomenon I want to make sure you understand, because it comes up constantly in conflict situations. It’s called rejection sensitivity, or sometimes rejection sensitive dysphoria. We all feel rejection Let’s start with what’s universal. We all have
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If you’re new to mediation, you’ve probably mastered the basics of facilitating dialogue between two parties. But what happens when a third person enters the room? Whether it’s three colleagues in a workplace dispute, a supervisor and two team members, or any other multi-party configuration, these situations require a different approach and careful strategic thinking.
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You trained as a mediator. You’ve learned about impartiality, confidentiality, and party self-determination. Now a colleague or manager asks if you can “facilitate a difficult conversation” between two people in their team. It sounds like mediation. It feels adjacent to mediation. But before you say yes, it’s worth understanding what you’re actually being asked to
When Someone Asks You to “Facilitate a Conversation” Rather Than Mediate Read More »