I’ve recently been exploring different ways that mediators can work with emotions in conflict. It’s surprising how many different things mediators do! Here’s a compilation of strategies I found that mediators reported using. Which ones they used seems to depend very much on the model of mediation, the personal style and preferences of the mediator,
Strategies for working with emotions in mediation Read More »
Emotional crying (as opposed to tears that form when we have a foreign object in our eye) is a uniquely human phenomenon. Babies and young children cry a lot, but as we get older we tend to cry less frequently. This is partly because we have learned different ways to communicate to get our needs met (for
Crying in conflict Read More »
How coaching can support mediation preparation and participation When people choose to explore mediation as a process for managing their conflict, the mediator (or perhaps an intake officer in some contexts) will usually speak with each party separately prior to the joint mediation. These conversations may be called intake sessions or pre-mediation meetings. There are
Pre-mediation coaching Read More »
One of the core techniques we are taught as mediators and coaches is that when a person expresses their emotions (either directly or indirectly) we should “reflect them back”. Reflecting back a person’s emotions is supposedly helpful for showing that you understand how the person is feeling, validating the person’s emotional response, building rapport, demonstrating
Reflecting back emotions – questioning some assumptions Read More »
Many people think about hope as an emotion that is akin to faith or wishful thinking. However, hope theorists such as Snyder describe hope as a way of thinking. The best thing about approaching hope in this way, is that it becomes something that we can learn (and support others to develop). For our purposes,
Promoting hope in conflict Read More »
What is intertemporal choice? You may not have heard the term “intertemporal choice” but I’m sure you all experience it often. Intertemporal choice (DeSteno, 2009) is a situation in which decisions hold different consequences as time unfolds. Here’s an example using the impact of anger in a negotiation: If we are in a negotiation, and
Intertemporal choice, emotions, and conflict Read More »
The impact that a person’s emotional experience or expression may have on others depends on a few factors. Here’s a brief overview of some of the things that might make a difference. The level of interdependence of the people involved If the person perceiving the other’s emotions has no relationship with them, and no intentions
The interpersonal effects of emotions Read More »
I conducted a poll on social media recently, asking people which emotion they found the most challenging to deal with in conflict, and about half the respondents said it was anger. When we think about conflict, one of the main emotions that springs to mind is anger. Anger may lead to conflict arising. It may
When we think about the kinds of emotions people experience in conflict, we usually think of negative ones like anger or frustration, and how to minimise the harm that these emotions can have on engagement and resolution. However, as conflict practitioners we can also promote emotions that have a positive impact on conflict engagement and
Positive and negative emotions in conflict Read More »
When we are working with people in conflict, we know that there are emotions involved. However, did you know that there are many different kinds of emotions that people bring to their conflict interactions, and that each of these can be managed differently to best support constructive conflict engagement? By different emotions, I don’t mean different
Emotions people bring to conflict Read More »